Via Dolorosa
by WalkingonFirex
Summary: He means the world to her. She means nothing to him. To her, every moment with him is a dream come true. To him, she's nothing but an easy lay. And what do you when you just can't deal with the pain anymore? Jorrie/Nena. Strong triggers. Rated M for a reason.
1. Used and Tossed Aside

**Warnings: Sexual content, heavy cursing, and graphic depictions of self-harm. It's rated M for a reason and if it's not your cup of tea, there's a nice little back button to your left. :)**

** Pairings: John/Torrie, John/Nikki, Punk/AJ, Randy/Stacy, maybe some Jeff/Maria, maybe some Torrie/Somebody Else, we shall see. **

_ He was on her, his lips crashing into hers, his tongue attacking hers with such passion she couldn't breathe. He elicited a deep, throaty moan from her as he thrust deep inside of her. Sweat began to glisten off of the both of them as his tongue ran down the shell of her ear and she whimpered, legs shaking uncontrollably. And with a few more hard, deep thrusts, loud screams, and soft grunts, it was over and he had his jeans in his hands._

_ But this time, she wasn't done. She wasn't going to let him leave her, as always without so much as a goodbye. _

_ "John," she whispered. _

_ Blue eyes met green ones and for a moment, it seemed like he actually cared about her. "What?" _

_ It was obvious that he didn't, but she needed to tell him this. She needed for him to know that he meant the world to her. Hell, he _was_ her whole world. _

_ "I...I love you," she said simply, naturally, as if she'd said it a million times before. And she had...In her mind._

_ She could've sworn she'd seen the slightest hint of a smile. But not because he loved her, too, but because he found it amusing._

_ "I'm engaged," he replied, just as easily._

_ It hit her hard, watching him shake his head in disgust, walking away as if he had never told her the news in the first place. _

_ She bit her lip hard, teeth sinking in until she felt blood, but that alone couldn't keep the tears from coming. And it wasn't just tears, it was the beginning of something she couldn't put a name to. Loud sobs erupted from her bedroom as she punched her pillow, leaning over so that she could see the small mirror on her bedside table. Hands shaking furiously, she snatched the mirror from the table. In it, she saw a broken shell of a woman. The face was damp, the eyes red and puffy, makeup smearing down the sides of her cheeks. Her hair was an unruly mess, destroyed from the passionate intercourse that had just occurred, one that she would have liked to call making love, but was instead subjected to only calling it 'fucking,' because that was all it meant to him, the man she loved so much, the one that didn't give two shits about her and treated her as so._

_ She loved him. And because she did, every time he called or knocked, she let him in, preparing to let him down easily and every time, one touch, one small kiss left her breathless and begging for more. Every time, he left her like this. And every time, she got a little worse. _

_ But this time was different. This time, she'd poured her heart out to him. This time, he'd told her that horrible, awful news. This time, she'd completely lost herself. _

_ Feeling utter and complete hatred for that ugly stranger in the mirror, she threw it and it hit the wall. It shattered into many pieces, fatally broken. _

_ Her sobs began to die down and she sniffed, scratching her face to wipe away the weakness she simply could not overcome. The ache in her chest had become a constant, but tonight she just could no longer bear it. _

_ Impulsively, she swung her legs off of the bed and ambled slowly to the other side of the room where the shards of mirror flickered from the faint light of her lamp. _

_ Bending down, she began to study the pieces of glass. Like her, it was small and shattered, but she knew that it was _much _stronger than she could ever dream of being. Between two fingers, she picked up the shard. It nicked her skin and she felt a slight pain. That was when she pulled the glass away and pressed it to her wrist. The pain was dull, so dull that she was annoyed. She'd felt so much more in her chest..._

_ She shoved it harder and that's when she could feel it, the relief slowly enveloping her. She dragged it back and forth, deepening and expanding the wound as best she could. Finally, it was over and she could breathe again. Noticing the bloodstained floor, she got to her feet and made her way to the bathroom, where she found a towel and gauze. She, of course, first patched up her cut, surprised that she was actually able to do this. And then, she headed back to her bedroom, where she mopped up the red mess. Once that was done, she threw the soaked towel in her laundry basket and beside it she found something startling. _

_ It was an old T-shirt that read 'Never Give Up.' It all made sense, though. Now that John was engaged, no doubt to that girl he'd been dating: Nicole (or Nikki, whatever it was), he'd probably left some of his clothes there to mask the fact that he was deliberately cheating on her. More tears pricked to her eyes as she picked the shirt up and held it close to her chest, before raising it to her face to breathe in his scent. _

_ Tears flooded down her cheeks, another sob escaping her lips. She dropped down to her bed, shirt still in hand, and cried, cried herself to sleep with John's scent the last thing on her mind._

That was three months ago.

And she hadn't stopped since.

**It's kinda short, I know. It's really sad and really brutal, I know. But let's all put on a happy face and enjoy it. I liked writing this, but I'm busy with school, so we'll see how updates go. Don't harass me. If you do, I simply won't try to update faster.**

** I'm going to do my absolute best on this because I know this is something a lot of people go/have gone through, myself included, and it's very important to approach it the right way.**

** Be excited because I wasn't originally gonna write this. It was going to be a Pewdiecry story - and I might still write something similar to this for that pairing, but my sissy, KellyMarie, convinced me to give Jorrie another go. So, thank her and go read her stories. They're what inspired me to start writing fanfics in the first place.**

** By the way, I typed this in about an hour or less. BOOYAH! **

** With each chapter, I will provide a song that inspired me. The song for this chapter is "Everything's An Illusion" by Mayday Parade.**

** -Kalina :)**


	2. Breathless and Still Running

"You heading out?" Torrie Wilson's roommate, AJ Lee asked, eyes narrowing over her coffee cup.

Torrie nodded, though it should've been obvious due to the fact that she was clad in her gym clothes.

"I'll probably be late tonight," AJ said, absentmindedly smearing Nutella over a piece of toast.

Torrie smiled. "Long night with Phil?"

AJ blushed. "I guess you could call it that."

AJ and her boyfriend, Phil Brooks, had been together a couple of months and it seemed to be going great. Torrie was genuinely happy for them, too. AJ was a sweet girl and a good friend and Phil was crazy about her. He treated her right, which was all Torrie really cared.

"Are you...are you not hungry?" AJ asked, "I laid out the eggs over there," she pointed to the counter beside the stove.

"N-no," Torrie replied, "I've got a couple errands to run before work, so I'll just grab something then."

Before AJ could reply, Torrie was out the door.

_Odd_, AJ thought to herself, _It's eighty degrees out today and she's wearing a long-sleeved shirt...to the gym._

She shrugged, taking a bite of her toast. Maybe it was a coincidence. But what was definitely _not_ a coincidence was that it was Saturday. Torrie never worked Saturdays.

Biting her lip, AJ sighed. She didn't know what was wrong with Torrie, but she needed to get to the bottom of it ASAP.

...

Torrie stepped into the gym, feeling as nervous as ever. She absolutely despised the place, even if she did love fitness. She was just too insecure to feel comfortable at all there. She felt like everyone there was judging her, disgusted by her appearance, just as John was.

She was also now forced to wear long-sleeved shirts everywhere she went, for the scars on her arms were too obvious for anyone not to notice them. AJ or Stacy, her best friend, would certainly be concerned about it. Therefore, it had to be hidden.

Besides, if Stacy were to ever discover _why_ Torrie was hurting herself, it would definitely put a strain on her own relationship with her fiancé, Randy Orton.

Torrie stepped onto a treadmill, starting it out on medium speed. Trainers suggested that a person start out slowly and work their way up to the higher settings, but Torrie simply couldn't do that. She had to become beautiful again - for John. She had to make him realize he loved her. She really didn't know what she would do if she couldn't convince him of it.

Thinking of that only brought more tears to her eyes. She gritted her teeth, praying that the people around her only suspected the tears to be beads of sweat trickling down her face. She turned the knob to a faster speed and closed her eyes, thoughts drifting to the day she'd met John Cena.

_It was the a year ago. Randy and Stacy had invited her over to watch the Superbowl with pizza, hot wings, beer, and the works. That was one of the last few times Torrie had eaten whatever she wanted without caring what anyone thought about her. _

_ They were giggling over one of the Doritos commercials when _he _stepped inside the apartment. He was dressed in a New England Patriots' jersey (despite the fact that they weren't playing), dark jeans, and white tennis shoes with black trim. But what she'd really noticed were his eyes. They were so blue, so piercing, so _genuine_. Or, so she'd thought. When he'd came in, he'd smiled at whatever dumb joke Randy had made and she noticed his deep, adorable dimples. _

_ "John, this is Torrie. Torrie this is John," Stacy introduced, smiling wildly at Randy. It was her dream for the two of them to get together. _

_ When green eyes met blue, Torrie's world stopped turning. _

_ "Hey Torrie," he said, smiling. _

_ "H-hi," she'd stammered, her heart skipping a beat. _

_ They talked all night and as it grew later, the more intoxicated Torrie became. Not just from the alcohol, but from John, as well. Everything he did was so perfect and intriguing to her. His laugh, his smile, his sense of humor, his voice and demeanor, his body, his face, his everything. She fell so hard. _

_ And when she was too inebriated to drive herself home, John offered. When he reached her door, she invited him in. _

_ He kissed her._

_ They fell into her bedroom. _

_ And when she woke up, he was gone. _

_ She wasn't concerned about it, though. Really, she was embarrassed that she'd allowed it to go that far when she'd only just met him. Perhaps it wouldn't go anywhere, but she certainly hoped it would. And it did. For a while, at least. _

_ They were 'sort of dating,' as he put it. This, in essence, meant that they had sex whenever _he_ felt like it and had small dates whenever he couldn't find someone better. For a while, it was all right with Torrie. Stacy and Randy and AJ all believed that they were just dating, so there was no reason for concern there, either. She loved him and that made it all okay. _

_ Then he met Nikki. Sometimes she never saw him. Other times, she saw him every day. And this was _all_ still okay. All that mattered was that she saw him. _

_ But telling her that he was marrying her...Well, that was just too much. Especially when she'd poured her heart and soul into that man and loved him with all of her heart. She'd given him her heart only to have it stomped on and destroyed._

_ Now, Stacy, Randy, and AJ believed she and John had broken up and they weren't worried about her. If only they knew..._

She took a deep breath, hopping off of the treadmill. She reached into her bag, pulled out her pink water bottle, and took a good, long swallow. She then checked her iPhone to see what time it was. She was surprised to see that it was almost ten o'clock. She'd been on the treadmill a long time and if she wanted to make it to her nail and hair appointment, she would have to hurry along.

The blond threw her belongings back into the bag and rushed to the showers. Luckily for her, there was one open in the ladies' room. As quickly as she could, she stripped and had out her shampoo and body wash. Usually, she liked to take her time with her shower, especially to relax her sore muscles, but she didn't have time today. She needed to get her French tips redone and needed to have her perm set again. John had told her before that he liked her hair curly and so she constantly had it permed. She knew it wasn't good for her hair, but John liked it and that was all that mattered.

Strangely enough, Nicole's hair was constantly straight.

As Torrie began to massage the shampoo into her hair, she heard a familiar voice. She listened closer and confirmed that it was indeed who she thought it was.

"It's just so pretty, Nikki!" she heard a girl named Eva exclaim.

Eva was a redhead and a good friend of the Colace-Garcia twins.

"I know!" Nikki laughed, "I bet John spent a fortune on it. He does spoil me."

Brianna, Nikki's twin spoke up next. "Mom's gotta be so happy. Both of her daughters are getting married so close together." Then she laughed.

Nikki laughed, too. "Bridesmaid dress shopping _and_ wedding dress shopping. We really do things simultaneously, don't we?"

Torrie bit her lip hard, telling herself not to cry. As quickly as she could, she rinsed the soap out of her hair and off of her tired body. She then pulled out a towel and dried off, scrubbing so hard she left red marks. She wrapped her hair into the towel and dressed as quickly as she could, ignoring the older pink and newer red, angry scars that zig-zagged across her arms. She liked to pretend that they weren't there.

If she acted like she couldn't see them, maybe they'd disappear.

One dressed, she darted out of the shower without bothering to do (or even dry) her hair or put on her makeup. She had to get away from Nikki.

And fast.

**Wow, I'm writing a het fic. It feels like ages since that happened. Literally...Two Pewdiecry one shots, a multi-chapter fic (that I have rudely neglected), and I just wrote 3,000 word Ianthony one shot. Wow.**

** Two chapters down, eight to go if all goes as planned! **

** Chapter song: "Hold on Till May" by Pierce the Veil because you think it's just a sweet little love song until you listen more and google the lyrics and watch thousands of interviews with PTV and discover it's really about suicide. *Sighs.***

** Thanks for reading! **

** -Kalina :)**


	3. Old and New

**It's been a while. I'm sorry. But here's chapter 3. Explanation at the end. **

Sunday morning, shortly after Torrie had finished up her workout DVD, AJ returned home.

Torrie had just finished showering and getting dressed and was still feeling a bit annoyed. Sundays weren't her favorite day of the week - at all. Sundays, to most people were for eating breakfast in bed and reading the papers or taking walks in the park. Sundays to Torrie meant that the next day was Monday and more importantly, her gym was closed that day. Years ago, Torrie spent her Sundays in church, but she'd quit going years ago.

Her life had changed so much in the last few years, perhaps not for the better at times.

She had just slid her pink T-shirt over her shoulders as she heard the key in the door. That was when she headed out to the front room of the apartment to greet her friend.

The first thing that Torrie noticed was that, unusually, AJ was wearing a new outfit than the one she'd worn the day before.

"Learn to pack a bag, eh?" Torrie asked, chuckling.

AJ didn't even blink an eye. "Yes, I did. I got tired of not having a toothbrush."

Torrie noticed the familiar happy glint in AJ's eye and felt a wave of happiness wash over her. She really loved how happy Phil made AJ.

AJ waltzed over to the refrigerator and began pawing through it. With her head still stuck in the fridge, she asked, "how did you spend Saturday?"

Torrie shrugged. "Once I got my hair and nails done, I went shopping. Then, I came home and watched movies."

AJ narrowed her eyes, glancing over the food. "That it?"

Torrie nodded, but then stopped. "No, I finished the book I was reading, too."

The small brunette shut the refrigerator. "Huh. A quiet night at home. Sounds nice." Then, she walked over to one of the cupboards, opening it.

"Did you not have fun with Phil?" Torrie asked, concerned.

"Yes," AJ replied, shutting the cupboard, having found the granola bar she'd been searching for. "It's just that sometimes I like to be alone, you know? Without a man nagging me about something."

Torrie bit her lip. AJ really didn't realize how lucky she really was. But she forced herself to giggle and nod. "One of the perks of being single."

AJ smiled back at her before biting into the granola.

If she'd been alone, Torrie would have breathed a sigh of relief. AJ didn't notice, thankfully.

A loud, screeching sound ended their conversation abruptly. AJ sprinted over to the window. "Torrie, Torrie! Come look!"

A real smile lighting up her face at AJ's enthusiasm, Torrie darted over to where her friend stood.

Looking out the window, Torrie saw a U-Haul and a shiny new black truck. "Looks like someone finally rented out the apartment beside ours."

"Let's go introduce ourselves!" AJ said, hopping toward the front door.

Instinctively, Torrie panicked and grabbed her friend's arm. "April, wait!"

AJ frowned. She didn't exactly love being called April. "What?"

"I...We don't even know who they are. Plus, they're just now moving in and I don't wanna get in the way-"

AJ cut her off. "Fine, we'll bring them something." She skipped back to the refrigerator and yanked out the turtle pie she'd bought a few days ago. "I was saving this for a bad day, but hey, I'm nosy."

Torrie sighed. "Isn't it customary to bring a new neighbor a plant? Or a _homemade_ pie?"

AJ raised an eyebrow. "Am I customary?"

Unable to argue with that, Torrie reluctantly followed her shorter friend out the door.

AJ maneuvered her way around the trucks with Torrie trailing behind her. Much to their confusion, there was only one mover there. The tenant, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen.

Spotting the mover coming out of the house, AJ said, "excuse me!"

He stopped. "Yes?"

"Who is moving in here?" she asked, sweetly.

The man pointed to the apartment. "He just went inside. He should be out in a minute or so."

AJ smiled, thanking the man and turning to Torrie. "It's a guy, Tor. I hope he's hot!"

Torrie chuckled. "You do remember that you're in a relationship, right?"

AJ shrugged. "A relationship does not stop one from looking or...," she trailed off, sucking in a breath, "or looking, for that matter. Jesus fucking Christ."

Torrie turned around to see what her friend was talking about and as she did so, her breath hitched in her throat.

Coming out of the house was a tall, tan, and muscular man with tattoos running down one of his arms. His hair was long and jet black, pulled into a ponytail. His dusting of facial hair was also jet black. He was clad in a black T-shirt and blue jeans. Simply put, this man was _hot_.

AJ, being AJ, skipped right on over and introduced herself. "Hi! I'm AJ Lee and I live in the apartment next to yours." She then proceeded to hand over the pie.

The man looked confused but took the pie. "Thanks. I'm Roman Reigns." He then glanced up, locking eyes with Torrie. "Who's that?"

AJ turned to see Torrie sheepishly sauntering over to them. "Oh, that's Torrie Wilson, my roommate."

Torrie joined AJ's side and smiled shyly. "Hi, I'm Torrie. I'd be the roommate she just mentioned."

He chuckled and Torrie noticed that he had a very nice smile. "Hi, Torrie. I'm Roman Reigns."

There was a bit of an awkward silence after that, the three all unsure of what to say next. AJ, of course, was the one to break it.

"Do you need any help bringing things in, Roman?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I couldn't ask you to-"

"We don't mind!" AJ blurted out, "right, Torrie?"

Torrie nodded. "We don't have anything else going on today."

Roman thought for a moment before shrugging. "If you really want to, I guess-"

"Great!" AJ exclaimed, "the three of us are gonna be great friends!"

So, for the rest of the day, AJ and Torrie worked themselves to the bone for their new neighbor.

And Torrie never once thought of John.

**IT'S BEEN A WHILE, I KNOW! LOL, sorry about that. But uh...I've kinda gotten behind in school, so I haven't had much time. Hopefully, I'm back in the spirit for writing this. I'm sorry this was a filler chapter, but it was necessary for me to move into the plot. So, three down and seven to go. WOOT! **

** NEW CHARACTER! I happen to LOVE Roman Reigns and I know my sis, Kelly does, too, lol. So here he is. And it seems like Miss Torrie likes him...hmm. What do you guys think? **

** The song of the chapter is "Have Faith in Me" by A Day to Remember. I love them so much. And that song is just...ahhhh. I have no words. **

** Thanks for reading, you guys. -Kalina :)**


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